(16 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
Loading ...I live in Montreal, home of the world’s “almost best” food. Whenever I travel, I am reminded of just how spoiled we Montrealers are when it comes to good food.
The *service* however… often sucks.
Now, I’ve always been the kind of guy who excels at things, mostly because I have a tendency to obsess and focus on whatever I’m into. I was usually the best (or close to it) at things like sports, skateboarding, 9-ball pool, I’m usually the best sales rep on the floor… whatsoever I do in life, I work extremely hard at it, not to be “the best” but to be the best I can be.
So yeah, the waitresses suck. They just are not trying to be the best they can be, I could seriously train these girls to double their tips.
And, I’ve dated my fair share of them, so I know WHY they suck -
They just aren’t trying hard enough. It would seem that “being pretty” is supposed to be enough in this society of ours, and I blame men for training today’s women to be lazy & spoiled rotten. For example, the prettiest girls around are usually… the boring ones in bed. Why?
Nobody trains them… whatever guys they are dating are simply TOO HAPPY to be sleeping with such a hot chick, so they never risk telling the girl anything - I suppose they don’t want to piss her off and risk losing her. So now, just about every hot girl sucks in bed, sucks in relationships, and sucks at waitressing.
MY GOD are they ever spoiled.
And awake! Women are awake, and men are asleep in many, many, MOST cases.
And, since today’s men are so AFRAID OF WOMEN, I spend most of my days training guys to grow a spine, to stop accepting second-class behavior, to speak their truths, and to “train” women through punishment/rewards, acceptance, and compassion. With those three elements in place, I’ve seen your girlfriends do complete 180-degree shifts and go from totally spoiled brats who test the shit out of you… to finally feeling safe enough to relax into their feminine nature.
The transformations I’ve seen… women are amazing, powerful creaures when we can allow them to blossom.
But, if we SPOIL them and kiss their butts, this makes them feel VERY insecure (because how can they count on their wanker boyfriend for anything?) and when people are in fear, people wreak havoc and destroy everything in sight, including themselves.
Since most of today’s women are in the lead… making all the decisions, whining, bitching, complaining (and getting TRAINED to be this way because most men have no spines) it has become ASSUMED that:
1. All men are stupid wankers
2. All relationships are devoid of any real love or passion (sexual polarity)
3. All women are REALLY running the show, even though in some cases they cleverly make it SEEM that the guy is in charge
It’s one big human soup bowl of control issues, with very little Heart thrown in the mix.
So anyway, when Ghita and I go out to dinner, it’s very interesting to see how the hostesses and waitresses treat us.
The way the MALE waiters treat us is stupidly-predictable. Ghita is very pretty, so they either become very nervous and jittery around her, or they try to condescend me to hopefully get her attention and attraction.
Especially the older guys tend to be real smart-asses with me, and do stupid competitive shit all the time… such as pretending they didn’t hear me, or mis-interpreting what I say to make some cocky remark, or putting their arm on my shoulder… you know, all the “sperm war” dominance bullshit. Very few men are strong enough on the inside to just be genuine, respectful people - you would think they don’t like tips…
I don’t mind this “dominance” stuff, it’s actually kind of FUN to retaliate back, like squeezing the guys nipples and shit like that. I have no problem handling these childish guys, within 30 seconds they realize, “Don’t fuck with this guy.” and sometimes they genuinely like and respect me after I shame them.
THE WOMEN, on the other hand…
It’s amazing to see just how bad the problem of respect has gotten - since most guys are lust-wankers, shy, ass-kissers, needy, try-hard, etc. women do not respect us anymore. How can they??
It has become assumed that men are jackasses, and that the women are usually in charge of the relationships.
So, we’ll go out to dinner, and the hostess will greet us, but she’ll always wait for Ghita to have the last word, as though Ghita was my pack leader. And the waitresses… oh God… they get offended by us all the time, because we have such good polarity. For example, we don’t usually sit accross from each other, we often sit right next to each other, really close, and eat on the same side of the table. So the waitresses get JEALOUS… oh my God are girls ever jealous of Ghita.
And, sooo many waitresses just assume Ghita is running the entire show, which is wierd because we’re VERY polarized. People rarely percieve, they usually just project. How many times has Ghita actually had to say to the waitress, “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask HIM if he would like to start with a soup.” (I swear)
Sometimes they DO notice our polarity, but they assume I’m just a sexist, controlling pig who has my way with this poor LSE girl. For example, Ghita also likes me to order for her, and of course, this is always viewed as controlling and sexist 
You polarized couples know what I’m talking about… polarity can get you killed. People immediately think we’re a 1950’s couple, I probably just beat her or something, lol.
So anyway, about the SERVICE…
This post is for any waitresses out there, if you think that “nice tits” means good, competent service, it doesn’t to me!
(TIPS literally means To Insure Prompt Service)
I’m sick and tired of these waitresses who give extremely bad service who still just assume that they can have 15-20% of my money just because the food eventually made it’s way to my table. I’m going to design, with the help of my lovely bisexual ninja sidekick, a waitress training program.
Whenever we get bad service, instead of MONEY to reward bad behavior, I’m going to give them an envelope with the word “Tip” on it, containing an invitation to recieve a free seminar on how to be a competent waitress.
I’m actually serious, this is how I entertain myself.
Blessings, light,
Stephane
This absurdly funny to me.
Have you considered pitching this to local restaurant owners? All it’d take is one yes before you’d have a whole group of waitresses who had to attend a mandatory employee training program run by yourself if they wanted to keep their jobs.
Every word about current society and social perceptions: true (as always)
Waitress Training Service: hilarious (and obviously badly needed)
(Honestly, I never figured myself for an ass-kisser, Steph. But I’m 3/4 way thru ‘Radical Honesty’ - thanks - it rocks, so there’s your explanation of my sicko-phancy
God knows what it’s gonna be like when I get your programs. Just the ‘vibe’ is bad enough. I think I’ll have to practice being ‘indifferent’ 
)
Hah…that made me seriously laugh out loud too.
Stuff like this is why I usually don’t like going to hooters with my friends. The waitresses are all snooty and often disrespectful and act like it’s a chore to deal with a bunch of underage (…stupid US drinking laws…) college students.
People get what they are willing to accept.
Regarding Hooters, I go there every year or two. The food is substandard. But many of the waitresses there are extremely suseptible to the “cocky/funny” approach, presumably because so many guys go there just to lick their asses.
Ever since I was young I have been able to get ANY waitress to check up on me every 5 minutes. No matter what age they are. In fact, a couple years ago, I was by myself in this crowded Red Robin dive and my waitress just plopped herself in the seat across from me with this somehwat “seduce me” look. I asked her if she was having dinner with me and she said she wished. Then I asked her if she was at least buying me dinner. She again replied “I wish”. I just shook my head like saying “Oh, God. Not another one.” I told her it wasn’t going to work out and I was going to have to break up with her. We flirted and chatted for awhile. Later on I told her that she had 30 seconds to tell me why I should pick her as my waitress and she rolled with it like a champ.
These 3 girls sitting behind me were listening to all this, and one had this b/f that was saying I was acting “gay” but he quickly shut his mouth after the waitress tried impressing ME! LMAO
Another time I was in Hooters and this hot girl that was working the counter was being a brat and getting mad (not with me just because of work) and I took the ketchup bottle in front of me and said “Here. Throw this at someone. You will feel better.” She grinned and then I said “Just don’t throw it at me….or I’ll spank you.” Her face lit up like a X-mas tree. I flirted with her the rest of the night and had other girls laughing and she loved it. I told them all I was going to have to give out free spanking before I left.
Calling them Culinary Goddess, and things and a little flirting really gets them smiling and laughing. I get women to do things for me easily this way and I have women from years ago that still call or trxt me that I hardly talk to anymore.
Stéphane!!! Couldn’t you mention at least that some waitresses (like me) do an excellent job and make you have an AWESOME time at the restaurant?? Just kidding…. what you said is entirely true but it is because most waitresses who give a bad service are those who will actually do that job for the biggest part of their lives. So, they are frustrated to serve many asswholes and they don’t even bother being nice to anyone anymore. When you walk in a restaurant, ask the hostess to put you in the section of the nicest waitress, (there are always some nice college students who are bubbly and happy most of the time) and you won’t have that problem anymore. If there are no hostesses, watch carefully for 3 minutes and you should spot a waitress with a big smile. Then, you simply ask her if she can sit you in HER section. But please, leave at least 10% because the government just assumes that waiters make 8% of tip and it is deducted from their pay (taxes) so that if you leave nothing, they are actually paying of part of what you ate.
Ciao xoxoox
Priscilla
I train waitresses and bartenders. Not about to give away all the program but the industry in changing. A study was done at the Harvard Business school and many of the larger chains are getting into the act.
There is a niche for those who wish to do that. Having a Diploma in Adult Education or getting a pro to put together your program would be a great first step.
There is a world of difference between being a fine dining waitress and a waitress in a busy strip club. But there are common denominators. The fact of the matter is that MOST of the time it’s not the waitress, it’s the manager at fault.
The manager sets the tone. The manager doles out praise or sets expectations.
In some bars I can double the tips. One owner told me “So what, I don’t get the tips!” My comment was lets figure out what you get.
1. Regular Customers
A guy who goes to his favorite bar and gets 3 5 buck beers Monday to Friday is dropping $15 bucks a day or $75 bucks a week. The beer costs the bar about $1.50 including refrigeration and handling. (That the high end.) So from one customer who comes every night you get over $10 bucks profit a day. And the waitress will probably get from 2 to $5.00 from him. A customer who spends $300 a week in your bar better be getting something more that some tired 40yr old grandmother who’d rather talk to her equally unattractive co-worker and chew gum.
A profitable bar is a well managed bar. The best Human Resource specialists, for all their training, only hire 1 good employee out of 3. So a bar owner is going to do worse. There should be turn-over. Tall girls, short girls, pretty girls and prettier girls, taught to be competent.
Put Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs into the mix. Give the customers a sense of belonging.
Oh and the prices above are not reflective of bigger cities. Try and find a 5 dollar beer in downtown Toronto, good luck. And it’s 9 bucks for adult entertainment.
Waitress Training Service, lol