(41 votes, average: 4.51 out of 5)
Loading ...***QUESTION***
Stephane,
I’ve recently began talking to a girl who’s a stripper. She’s a great person, and we’re really into each other, but I’m wondering how to deal with her profession.
I can’t imagine ever getting serious with her because of this choice of career. I’ve explained this along with my reasoning that I feel like that’s not devotion, her dancing naked in front of a room full of guys.
I really like this girl, but I think I’ve explained my position well.
Should I even consider bending on this?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The only hope that you have of influencing her into a non-stripper is through full acceptance, and by showing no jealousy whatsover. Any attempt to shove your “morals” down her throat may be viewed as weakness, and she may rebel like a teenager rebels on her parents.
Every guy she deals with is a “tool” in her world-view. By asking her to quit, you become just another tool, who is then seen as completely under her control. She will tell all her stripper friends how “He’s wrapped around my little finger” and talk about how jealous and annoying you are, even though she secretly likes this… in her limited views, jealousy = Love.
Strippers are in a very dark (ignorant) place, using their sexuality to control and gain status, money, energy. They see the world as win/lose, and they do not, can not know Love. But the manipulat-ive are equally the manipula-ted. There is no difference.
They see themselves as a “ho” in need of a true “pimp”. A wonderful game of duality and power struggles filled with dramatic highs and lows. But the ego secretly loves this, you see.
If you are loyal to her, you will probably be seen as a weak beta male. You must be viewed as a man who loves women, ALL women. But of course, if you are with other women you will also infuriate her, so you literally can’t win. She hates it when men are jealous because deep down, she hates her own jealousy. She hates loyalty because, well, she doesn’t understand loyalty.
The idea is to honor and accept her choices completely, and not try to control or interfere in any way. One could say that she has “stripper karma” and needs to go through this experience and learn what she is here to learn.
As we begin to open the Heart, we might see a ladybug on the ground, upside down and unable to walk. Our Love for the ladybug will urge us to flip the poor little guy over and help him out. But then, as the Heart becomes opened all the way, 100% open, we no longer flip the little guy back onto his legs because we understand that that is his karma. The little bug is upside down to learn, and to evolve, so we leave him alone in his upside-down perfection.
Dating a stripper will always come with a price. There will be drama. And the risk of getting an STD will be higher. And her heart isn’t open, so she isn’t ready to know Love at this point on her Journey.
Personally, I wouldn’t care even if she was a full-blown whore. It’s just her karma, and we’re all at different levels in our evolution. Just know that having an actual long-term relationship with a woman on her level is literally impossible. It will be filled with drama, but perhaps you also have karma on this level and are meant to date a lower-consciousness woman.
The trick is to learn to have unconditional love and compassion for all women. Once you tap into this higher frequency, there are literally no more questions, there is only an inner-knowingness… you will intuitively know how to handle any situation that arises. So perhaps you are being sent this stripper to learn unconditional love.
In the end, “she” doesn’t strip, her body strips (and she is not the body).
So it literally does not matter. Life is just a classroom and a game, and certainly not something that is meant to be taken too seriously.
Thanks for your question, and Blessings to you both.
Stephane
that was gorgeous post
I also like not only that the posts here have high conciousness, they also have practical down to earth approach at the same time.
Dear Stephane
Thanks for answering my question, I’m very thankful to have found your site. Everything I read speaks to my nature and makes so much instinctive sense.
I believe that she’s a good person deep down, and I’m going to try loving her without bounds and see where it goes.
Like you say, life’s a game, if we ‘re absolutely incompatible, I’ll love her and let her go on her path.
Maybe we can help each-other grow.
Great post man, if dating a stripper crosses my mind, I’ll definitely remember this post…
“Just know that having an actual long-term relationship with a woman on her level is literally impossible.”
Steph, a lot of guys in the community make dating a stripper an achievement, but your insight into the mind, the world-view, of strippers is really awesome. Thanks.
You just have to laugh at all these paradoxes. The only way to love a stripper is to completely accept the fact that she makes her living by leaking her sexuality to other men. Meanwhile, any loyalty on your part will be interpreted as weakness. Yikes!
This post is dense with insight, Steph, thanks.
Awesome post! I like the idea that everything is perfect just the way it is.
Thanks.
Yes, 100% of us strippers are completely devoid of any sort of human emotion. No way we could actually “feel” for anyone. This is because the “stripper factory” where every last one of us were created decided that we would all be much better gold digging “hos” if we were left heartless.
PLEASE.
You’re an amazing writer and speaker from consciousness.
I love reading your posts because of the enlightened power that flows from every sentence in them. I’m on a journey to discover my own self, and my consciousness, and posts like this help me catch a glimpse of that state of being.
I can’t say that there’s the same going on with me and a woman I’m currently involved with, and are very much in love with each other. But she has a past full of promiscuity and cheating, still, she says that even though she isn’t proud of it, she has made it ok in her mind to have been that way in the past so it doesn’t affect her anymore. What still makes me feel icky is the fact that she still thinks that sex is just sex with any person one is not in love with, like assisted masturbation, and that if it happens once in a while with a “random hook up” outside a relationship it really shouldn’t affect it, because there are “no strings attached”.
The part that bothers me now about the idea of random hook ups is that after the deed is done, each person dumps the other like an object after an encounter of that intimate nature, convincing themselves in their mind that it was worth it because of the thrill, even though they just used the other person ignoring their value as a whole human being and the sacredness of sex. I mean, if sex is just sex, why do people involved in that kind of sex prefer to forget about each other? Why do they have to hide their one night stand partners to the other person in the relationship? Why do they have to be only “one” time? I have many other questions of that nature that go against the “rules” of ONS, and it still bothers me that she thinks like that. Haven’t told her so because I respect her point of view and will not go into a debate with her, still, I wish her view could change, but don’t know what it could take for her to realize that if she engaged or engages in the future with that same kind of activity, that it’s a sign of low self esteem, and that even if she says that she enjoys it, that she’s being used by guys.
I’m really getting past the jealousy nature of it, and even if she decided to cheat on me in the future, and that it would mean the end of what we have, I know I’ll be ok. But because I love her, it hurts me that she still doesn’t realize how low she has valued herself in the past, and still carries some of that low self esteem to this day. I mean, she likes to look at porn like a guy! It could seem funny, but it’s getting to a point that bothers me. I’m sorry I haven’t bought anything from this site to have access to the forums. And am planning to do so in the near future. Maybe just wanted to vent this out, and know that this kind of karma happens in different levels. Thanks for this site
That is a very interesting take on strippers. I have never ever heard it expressed like that before. What I truly admired about the way you expressed yourself was that you came from a place of caring. Should we take it then that our blog writer has had his experience with strippers and/or drama queens?
Cheers
You can flip or not the ladybug, it’s up to you, it’s up to your emotions. Anything you do will be fine. There is no right or wrong.