Comments on: “Dragon Butter: Open Relationships Always Hurt”

By: Samantha

Samantha — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:47:31 +0000

Of course I’m not trying to speak for Stephane, but I have to say when you’re in a circle, you’re not just going around sleeping with any woman you happen to find… Not only that, but Stephane isn’t going out, alone, to find women to have sex with. He and Ghita are *sharing* women, which is completely different. The circle shares each other and are very close (not to mention at a much higher level of spirituality than most people). They are actually able to handle having more than two people in the relationship..

But that’s just my take on it..

peace love & soul,
Samantha aka Mo

By: Hofmeyr

Hofmeyr — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:03:46 +0000

The difference is that in Arthur’s case, he could not surrender to truly loving someone, because he does not fully trust / love himself…both him and his girlfriend was in the relationship out of fear…alot of contradictions and alot of drama

Steph on the onther hand, as I understand it, fully, wants to be with his two girlfriends at this time in his life and the same should hold for them…If things change in either of their lives, either their love will accomodate or the relationship dynamic will change…moving from love.

Oscar Wilde said that the biggest fault of all romances are that people want to make them last forever…That for me is exactly the point: In love you can surrender yourself to that moment and be free, but that takes alot of courage. As soon as you experience anxiety about the future of your relationship you are in-fact facilitating it’s destruction…

Dunno if this makes as much sense in words as it did in my head lol

Peace

By: Amanda

Amanda — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:05:18 +0000

I would also like to know the answer to souless’ question.

By: Curious

Curious — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:20:40 +0000

I agree with Souless. You’re being a complete hypocrite by allowing yourself to have an open relationship but denying others. Please explain that.

By: Souless

Souless — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 03:38:47 +0000

Stephano,

I’m very confused. What’s the difference between open relationships and the one you are having with
Ghita and the other women ?

Souless

By: maurice

maurice — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:38:06 +0000

If feel that open relationships can work if there is a lot of maturity with high consciousness and very clear agreements. In one shamanic spiritual tradition I know which celebrates sexuality, several such relationships have lasted many years. They have agreements around a committed monogamous relationship which allows outside mirrors or experiences. If one partner wants to explore outside the relationship then the outside person has to meet the other partner and discuss what they want to get out of the experience. Everyone has to agree to the exploring. So if a man wants to explore with a women, the outside women has to meet his women and discuss the situation and get her agreement too. They even give gifts to each other.

By: Ben

Ben — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:58:15 +0000

That is one great article and I see the truth in it.

I definately feel that women hurt when I fuck other girls, but they stay around because they like me so much.

Then there are those girls who just enjoy the sex and don’t want more, those are the girls who are OK with it.

But I am wondering Steph, you know Johnny Soporno right? He has a VERY open relationship with his girlfriend and it SEEMS to workout just fine. He says it is not in our NATURE to be monogamous, and that he loves his girlfriend so much that he is happy for her to fuck another guy that she likes…he says there is no OWNERSHIP in relationships and I know that you agree with that statment…

…BUT you guys are on completely different sides regarding open relationships. You say, it shows a closed heart, he says loyalty is not in our nature…

WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?

Love your site,
Ben

By: Slavo

Slavo — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:21:20 +0000

I completely AGREE with this

“She went against her own core values - she wanted loyalty, but she put that on the shelf to be with you anyway, in spite of what her Heart wanted. She compromised, and whenever we do that we are hurting ourselves. She essentially used you to abuse herself - you guys are a perfect match. You two both need to eventually learn how to have Compassion. It is the ONLY real solution. You can learn this from me, or learn it from buddhist monks or somehwere else, but eventually you WILL learn it once you’re done playing in the sandbox of sexual, emotional, and spiritual ignorance.”

I went against my core values in my previous relationship and starting full of energy after 3 years ended up at psychiatry (One flew over cuckoo’s nest movie is SO MUCH what I experienced there).

I learned that I absolutely can’t play or put up with any mind games, and it was the toughest lesson of my life. The woman I dated took it as “fight who’s stronger” and i didn’t fully realize it.

I love and hate your website

By: Attla

Attla — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:24:16 +0000

Hi!
I would just have a general post about your site.
This site is really awsome, because you’re helping other with your knowledge, but what i think is really selfish that you are selling that expertise of yours, and i think one thing in the world that should be free is knowledge. But knowledge is also power so i can see why you dont want to give away your hard learned knowledge for nothing. (Sorry for overusing knowledge :D) Anywayz just a thought and thanks for doing this stuff.
ps: You should make your forum registrabale without buying your stuff

By: Joe

Joe — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 10:45:24 +0000

A similar emotional thing happened to my girlfriend which ruined our relationship. There was something holding me back from giving all of myself to her, and that’s what she wanted from me. She became needy and insecure, and this went on for six months of her constantly feeling like this.

Recently, she broke up with me. I realized I had lost a wonderful and giving person, and became desperate to get her back. She says she still loves me and is sexually attracted to me but there is something inside her stopping her from taking me back.

I know now steph that its because she has a lot of fear and anger directed at herself for letting me emotionally torture her for so long. Thanks man.

What the hell do I do now though!?There’s so much compassion and love inside me that I want to give to her, but I can’t!