(14 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)
Loading ...QUESTION:
Last night I was on the patio of a nightclub and smoking a cigarilo with my buddy. It was cool outside and we were standing in front of one of the few heaters. A group of 3 women who were around 25 came up and shared the heater with us.
Anyways, the alpha girl from the group asks what the coconut smell was and I told her it was the Body Shop creme I used on my hands (some nurses I went on a snowboarding trip actually got me to use this creme).
The alpha girl then said something along the lines of did I get the creme from my boyfriend and laughed.
WTF??? I did not expect this type of remark…
To that, I replied that when I touch a woman, I want my hands to be soft when I run them along her body.
After this interaction, I just ignored the women and finished my cigarillo. My buddy actually took the whole ordeal in a worse way then I did and kept talking about how women are bitches these days etc. I rationalized to him that the last 10 women I have approached have all been kind and this woman had the issue. We ended up not talking to any more women that night and just left the club early at about midnight. How do you guys handle women who use C & F? For me, it would be difficult to ever be attracted to a woman after she uses C & F.
Oh man, I cringed when you said, “To that, I replied that when I touch a woman, I want my hands to be soft when I run them along her body.”
This is where you completely and utterly shot your own foot, by qualifying yourself and trying to JUSTIFY your actions. You actually let her comments get to you.
Women… test… men.
By acting like bitches.
Things have always been this way, and will always continue to be this way. The trick is to let this stuff roll off your back, to show that you are not defensive, and able to laugh at yourself, not taking yourself so seriously.
^^This is the only thing required of you, if you can manage to not let things get to you, you’ll be surrounded by giggly submissive women everywhere you go. They will actually stop testing you after a while, because they can tell you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t need to prove his congruence. The onslaught of hardcore tests from women eventually goes away. They can tell from your body-language and mannerisms that you are a really cool guy, and not-at-all-insecure. And they go, “I better be nice to this one”.
There are any number of things you could have replied to her gay joke, and they don’t have to be clever or sarcastic either - which is a HUGE misconception in the seduction community. Everywhere all over the world guys are breaking their heads trying to be cocky & funny when it’s not needed.
When a girl gets a “good one” in, and in this case I think her comment was genuinely funny, don’t be afraid to actually REWARD HER! I might have laughed and said, “OMG I never meet girls who can make me laugh, come here” (and hug her, like a big bear hug and spin her around).
^^See how my response would have created TRUST, INTIMACY, ATTRACTION? I’m secure with myself, so I wasn’t trying to DEFEND anything.
I’m rewarding her, acknowledging her joke as very funny, which it was, and I’m congradulating her on a unique quality, I’M QUALIFYING HER based on her unique ability to make me laugh.
And it’s true - very few girls ever make me laugh. It’s nice to meet girls with well-developed personalities. Most girls honestly bore me to tears, I find them to be too insecure, with the social skills of third-graders in many cases 
Blessings,
Stephane
When she made the gay joke, me personally would have been relieved I found a girl that aughs. I’d reply by saying “No actually your mother gave it to me =)” or somethign c/f, but at the same time “Ohh thats cute =), come here..” is another great response.
I love girls with senses of humor =P
Interesting. I love girls who make an effort of taking care of how they talk to me. I met 3 girls who behaved like that.
Fo girls, insulting indeed means “I am interested in you”. To me it is a sick way to show interest by insulting someone so I intentionally don’t support it. If a girl insults me I look at her and say “if you think so”. They cannot cope with it, because in their brains full of shit they need me to not take bullshit seriously but I do.
In other words, I call a girl on anything I don’t like, may it be flirting or whatever intention lies behind.
I love the mentality of some grown ups including me to talk to children as if they were grown-ups.
Hmm let’s see you could either hug her like a dork and encourage her to keep being a complete asshole to others, by making her like you and have great sex with her that she doesn’t deserve, or you could pimp slap her back into the rain, tell her to learn to behave and make sure she doesn’t talk to others the same way. She’ll easily learn (after 3 more of those conversations with other people who don’t take shit) that to get laid she might just as well be nice. With the smallest amount of intelligence she can easily test you in a simple chit chat, without calling you gay (by the way, what’s so funny about that, sounds pretty stupid, like she’s adapting the bullcrap the guys give her that usually do her). How come men in poor countries can have two to four women who don’t act up? Because they don’t let them. By encouraging people to act stupid and rewarding them with being nice, you make this planet a worse place, as if that was not reacting on her comment, of course it is reacting on it. And yes men who are able to pull out a truly funny and smart reply are respected by men and women alike, I’ve seen it happen a million times. Unfortunately not everybody is funny.
T… Are you gay?
I am not agree with T.
If you show that you can be affected by that, you are showing LSE.
In fact if you have HSE you wont be affected, and you don’t have to show anything.
In my recent experience it usually works, even with guys. When one of my friends (usually men) say something to make me uncomfortable, I just don’t, I don’t care what he thinks and the other people will judge me for my actions, not for what he says.
Sometimes I reply, but mostly not, I just smile at them. It works, they are trying to get a reaction but they don’t get it. My best friend was treating me in a wrong way last couple of weeks (jealous/sperm war) and later he excused about his behaviour(I had to be careful to not appear to be his victim). He didn’t admit that all was for that girl though.
I wasn’t there, obviously. But to me, it sounds like playful banter as well as a test.
The playful banter says, “I’m interested.”
The test puts you in one of two categories a) a guy who has a sense of humor and isn’t shaky or uptight, or b) a defensive, insecure wimp.
I can see where T. is coming from. In some cultures, women are expected to be totally submissive, never question men, walk behind men, speak only to certain people and only when spoken to, keep their hair and faces covered, etc.
In this country, to me, anyway, that spells d-o-o-r-m-a-t.
I like women who are submissive. But I also like women with personality. Women who can offer intellectual stimulation and challenge. (Not that her opening line was intellectual.) The two are not mutually exclusive.
If a woman isn’t a bit feisty and doesn’t have a bit of attitude/personality, you can’t put her in her place. Someone (or life) already has, and she may even be emotionally damaged as a result.
Personally, I would have given her “the look” (raised eyebrow, etc., as in “are you playing with less than a full deck?”) and said, “What do you think?”
Or, I might have said, “I got it on my hands at the last Survivor shoot. If you’re good, I might let you have some.”
When I get testy comments like that I personally like to acknowledge as truth and add a exagerating twist to it. It works every time.
Something like:
“Did your boyfriend get you that?”
Response…
“Yes, he did. And he and I knew you wouldn’t like it and that’s why I’m using it.”
She of course knows it’s not true, yet you acknowledge her insinuation and that you don’t care that she likes it or not, and she if she doesn’t like the cream, even better.
Suppa
Chaox, no I’m not but I’m going to give you a big hug anyway because you made this incredibly funny and innovative joke.
Anonymous, if you are actually affected by what she says, you are weak. If this is the case, there is nothing you can do. She will know you are weak right away, so you already lost. I’m talking about something that just has to be done. It doesn’t matter who teaches her right, but if I don’t do it, she will talk crap to the next person she meets. People can get ego boosts from getting away with this. This is not about men & women. Even if all she’s trying to do is hit on me, I’d still let her know that she should watch her mouth, unless she is actually funny of course. If she said something funny I would laugh (inevitably, because it’s funny). But the guy who asked the question and me don’t find it funny, just a needless shit talk to someone she doesn’t know. My example of women in poorer countries might be misleading, I’m just trying to say, if you want them to be nice, tell them and they’ll be nice. If you let them get away with anything you will not get more girls, they’ll just stay that way.
One girl gave me the finger when I first met her. I said “Oh, how cute!”. Now she’s sucking my d*** and I love her!
anonymous, niiiice.
T, i feel like for some reason u feel like U need to be the one to teach her a lesson, almost like u need it to validate yourself, chill man, if shes being a bitch then its just something she needs to go through until she learns from it, its cool i respect her choice( although the chick in this post doesnt seem too much like a bitch), but then again who knows, maybe your the one she needs to take her to the next level…
I am that kind of guy that calls a girl on her crap… don’t take no sh!t from any girl… But i realise that it is a double edge sword…. From my personal experience, humour is the greatest tool that any man can use to disarm a woman… It works - 100%
I think of it this way, no girl would walk up to me in the club and make a comment to me out of the blue. If any girl does that, it shows she has some level of interest in me. Now it is up to me what i do with that interest - kill it by getting defensive, or keep it flowing by going with the flow and having fun. This is what seduction is all about…
Boy, i can have a whole night of conversation with her, based on that comment, that will get her soaking wet… just by playing light and fun… Man, that is just another waste of free “punani”
Anyz…, steph, I don’t give compliment, but u are a rear breed,.. keep doing what u do..
Chaozziez guys
T, perhaps IdeaGasms just isn’t for you. There is so much pain in your comments, that it just seems you are missing the point entirely.
Stephane’s suggestion, (which you judge him a “dork” for) illustrates how unaffected he is by her child-like behavior. It doesn’t encourage her to be a bitch- it encourages her to be FUNNY. And clearly, it would appear that your sense of humor does not include gay jokes- that’s okay, to each his own.
“Pimp-slapping” her so that she’ll “easily learn” doesn’t….work. All you do by REACTING is show her that SHE CAN GET YOU TO REACT, any time she wants to. By REACTING, she essentially takes CONTROL of you. She pushes a button, and you REACT a certain way- be it an angry “pimp-slap” or whatever.
Step’s suggestion transcends this. He doesn’t NEED to waste any energy reacting or trying to TEACH HER A LESSON. He just shows her, from his genuine non-reaction, that his will is immovable. No girl and her silly/bitchy/whatever comment can even TOUCH him. No one can get a reaction from him- therefore, he remains in FULL control of himself.
Neither scenario will TEACH a girl to stop making gay jokes. Your way is to SCARE her into changing, out of FEAR. Steph’s way is to show her how centered he is, and how USELESS her immature antics will be ON HIM.
Obviously, they will continue to get a rise out of others who ALLOW themselves to REACT TO HER.
Hmm let’s see you could either hug her like a dork
and encourage her to keep being a complete asshole to others, by making her like you and have great sex with her that she doesn’t deserve, or you could pimp slap her back into the rain, tell her to learn to behave and make sure she doesn’t talk to others the same way. She’ll easily learn (after 3 more of those conversations with other people who don’t take shit) that to get laid she might just as well be nice. With the smallest amount of intelligence she can easily test you in a simple chit chat, without calling you gay (by the way, what’s so funny about that, sounds pretty stupid, like she’s adapting the bullcrap the guys give her that usually do her). How come men in poor countries can have two to four women who don’t act up? Because they don’t let them. By encouraging people to act stupid and rewarding them with being nice, you make this planet a worse place, as if that was not reacting on her comment, of course it is reacting on it. And yes men who are able to pull out a truly funny and smart reply are respected by men and women alike, I’ve seen it happen a million times. Unfortunately not everybody is funny.
How bout: haha I never meet girls who make me laugh, are you secretly a man?
And then introduce yourself to the hottest one in the group and ignore the queen bee. It will drive her crazy!