Cracking The Male/Female Code, Volume Two
Shyness, Approach Anxiety, and Fear of Rejection seem to be at the very core of our problems with women and dating. When one approaches a woman from neediness, anxiety, shyness, and the desire for her approval, this typically creates feelings of aversion in her.
On the other hand, when one approaches a woman from the state of unconditional love, this typically creates feelings of natural attraction and reciprocal love. One becomes very attractive to the opposite sex when one approaches them from states of unconditional love, peace, bliss, and serenity. One’s energy field is then considered to be “infectious” and even “healing.”
* The practical solution, or ‘cure’ for shyness, fear of rejection, and approach anxiety seem to be quite simple, in the end:
One’s consciousness must evolve to the level where one is no longer trying to seek any particular reactions (such as approval, praise, validation, attention, sexual attraction) and other such responses from a woman, but instead becomes willing to embody what I have termed “The Qualifier.”
(This is NOT to be confused with an “Interviewer” style of pickup where one naively asks women several boring questions in a row, such as “What’s your name?” and “Where are you from?” and “Do you have any pets?”)
Pickup is not seen as a “game” in which one seeks to control, manipulate, seduce, hypnotize, attract, or to have “the upper hand” with a woman, but rather, it is merely a simple screening process and loving dance between men and women, between Yin and Yang.
When The Qualifier approaches a new woman for the first time, there is no desire to control her perceptions of him, and there is no desire to succeed in ‘getting her’ or to even ‘pick her up’ at all. Instead, when The Qualifier approaches a woman to start a conversation, he holds only one question in mind and in Heart:
“Does she embody the specific qualities and essence that I’m looking for in a woman?”
The only information The Qualifier seeks to know is if she “qualifies for the job”, or not. Instead of desire and fear, there is only curiosity and pure love. When one can achieve this major paradigm shift, one’s communication then becomes congruent, smooth, simple, lighthearted, fun, humorous, easy, natural, and effective. One is no longer trying to “create attraction” or to push a woman’s “attraction buttons”, as those types of behaviors are no longer seen as necessary. One simply IS attractive by virtue of what one has become.
* The solution to shyness and approach anxiety is therefore simple, but not easy:
One must simply be willing to let go of the “pickup artist” mentality and learn how to progressively embody The Qualifier mentality.
The “pickup artist” mentality is of a teenage paradigm (e.g., obsession with the body and the way it looks, approval-seeking, flirtation, seduction, sexual conquests, reaction-seeking, competition, greed, validation-seeking, attempting to prove one’s social value and worthiness) and yet The Qualifier mentality is of an adult paradigm (e.g., gentleness, humility, compassion, respect, humor, acceptance, kindness, maturity, forgiveness, inner-peace and self-respect).
The “pickup artist” paradigm seeks to get love from others in that it seeks narcissistic gain and makes the naive mistake of thinking that love is external; it therefore seeks approval and validation, not Love. We could say that Approach Anxiety comes from our “inner teenager”, which then naturally seeks to evolve to the next level, when ready. Another way of saying this is when the ’solar-plexus chakra’ has completed it’s karmic evolution, one then seeks to evolve to the ‘heart chakra’ level of consciousness. (This does not imply that a lower level of consciousness is “better” than any other, they are just different.)
The Qualifier comes to learn that Love isn’t “out there” but rather, it is “in here” in that Love is a frequency that stems from higher conscious Awareness. Thus, The Qualifier “comes from the Heart” rather than from ego, guilt, shame, fear, greed, desire, lust, competition, anger, or pride.
Fear-based thoughts and emotions are the problem, and the willingness to surrender them to God becomes the solution. When “lower mind” is progressively transcended, this paves the way for the Heart to open to states of unconditional love and compassion.
Once the blocks are removed, the questions regarding HOW to approach women, WHAT to say, HOW to act, WHAT body-language to use, HOW to convey social value, HOW to spark attraction, HOW to escalate things to a physical level, WHAT to do when women are rude or unpleasant, WHAT needs to be done to ‘close the deal’, and so on… simply vanish.
To think that, in the past, one ever worried about such things… becomes comical. The solution to pickup, dating and succeeding with women was never about tactics, strategies, or techniques, but rather, true, lasting, meaningful success is simply about removing that which stands in the way of our true loving nature.
The Death Of Approach Anxiety is a series of selected phone consultation recordings in which I share with the listeners some very specific step-by-step solutions that will enable them to narrow in on, surrender, and transcend that which is creating shyness, fear of rejection, and approach anxieties in general. As these inner-blocks are progressively surrendered, all of the previous “how-to” and “what if” questions are automatically answered by the Light of one’s own Higher Self.
CLICK TO HEAR A FEW SAMPLES:
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“When there in no desire in you, there will be no aversion in women.”
–Stephane Hemon
A FEW MORE THINGS DISCUSSED IN THIS PROGRAM:
- “Why would I want to let go of desire in the first place?”;
- What happens to your body and mind when you repress lust and other negative responses;
- Desire itself is not a pleasurable emotion – how to stop being run by it, and/or other negative emotions like fear, anxiety, anger, etc.;
- Deprogramming male ego – “I want to have all the girls I want..but I can’t!”;
- Practical exercise of letting go of desire, lust, fear, anger, procrastination, shame, guilt, apathy, and more;
- How negative emotions are naturally and automatically replaced with Love and Joy;
- Dating girls who don’t want to help themselves;
- Being with friends who aren’t willing to help themselves;
- Being generous without giving away your power;
- Re-contextualizing non-integrity/dishonesty so that it you feel more clinically detached;
- Why having compassion for the non-integrous is easy;
- Having sympathy for women is not healthy – why?;
- Why sympathy won’t lead to a healthy relationship;
- Feeling like you need to guess what a woman’s emotions, thoughts, and feelings are – a warning sign;
- What is the body?; What are the thoughts?; “Am I a who or a what?” The importance of identifying with the field of consciousness, instead of the content of the field;
- How to let go of the desire for validation and neediness in relationships;
- How the body reacts to falsehood, and how it reacts to the truth;
- Specific Qualifiers: spotting high self-esteem girls;
- Pickup and dating: “How to” questions won’t bring you a fulfilling answer;
- Learning escalation is a joke – pretending like I am not needy?;
- Neediness, push-pull, cocky-funny, and going for a girl that is not on your level;
- How to free of wanting to use pickup lines;
- How to become a qualifier – the fundamentals, and advanced info never been shared before;
- “Do I really need gaming?” Why all pickup is fundamentally non-integrous;
- Trying to be attractive versus being attractive;
- Why doesn’t everyone on this planet want love and peace?;
- “What is the essence of flirting, really?”;
- Is it OK to let go of desire, and how to do it safely;
- Why understanding levels of consciousness helps you let go of guilt of being what you are;
- Understanding other people’s choices;
- Techniques for letting go of the past;
- “What are thoughts, and where do they come from?” Insights into the field of consciousness itself”;
- Meditation techniques that will take you all the way;
- Approaching with different lines and their effect on girls – it depends on their level of consciousness;
- How to let go of desire itself to be in control of your own manhood;
- How to let go of anxiety, and fear – “Attraction” stems from fearlessness;
- The Merging technique;
- Powerful acts of forgiveness;
- Letting go of negative beliefs – a surprising and devastatingly effective technique;
- A total breakdown of a Zen Surrendering technique (examples, step by step explanation, what happens as you do it, what happens after, benefits of this practice);
- “Why do I have approach anxiety?” The unconscious structure;
- Next step after releasing approach anxiety;
- Studying body language in women to easily screen for honesty/integrity;
- The power of intention and prayer;
- “What is ‘ego’, really?”;
- Letting go of fear, and fear of death;
- Stages of spiritual progress;
- Popular spiritual beliefs, discussion;
- Benefits of being with integrous people;
- What to do when you see a cute girl and feel nervous;
- ‘Live’ pickup – Stephane suggested to one of his students while on the phone to go to a local cafeteria, do a few approaches while using the Zen Surrendering Technique, and call him back! The student reports a few days later on the changes he has undergone;
- Is it normal to have the swings between ‘dark night of the soul’ and bliss states?;
- Phases you go through in learning spiritual discernment and sharpening your intuition concerning energy vampire detection;
- Signs to look for in women who are not ready for a true relationship;
- What happens to you psychologically when you watch porn;
- Why we say that porn reinforces your approach anxiety;
- Dealing with numbness in emotions and feelings;
- Defining lust, desire, attraction, “da clubs”, and how these tie in with sympathy;
- Love versus Desire;
- Girls that feel uncomfortable around love, or even an aversion to love;
- Waiting to find a “perfect girlfriend”;
- Why desire/lust naturally repulses girls;
- The importance of humor;
- How to fit spirituality in your life;
- The reason we drink, and how to transcend drinking;
- The power of “Enneagram”; discussing different personality types;
- Effects of video games and porn on the male psyche;
- “What is sexual desire?”;
- How to deal with psycho chicks, and what they really do to you”;
- “Crabs in the bucket” syndrome; Watch out for this!;
- “Giving away your power” and what it really means;
- How to be firm but still remain kind;
- Sympathy in relationships, and why it’s important to let it go (“Sympathy is false love”);
- What are other people in my life for;
- The hidden consequences spending time with energy vamps has on your psyche;
- What Truth means in the mind’s of non-integrous people;
- And more!
Caveat: The material presented in The Death Of Approach Anxiety may be disturbing to followers of traditional religions or the spiritually timid, thus it is advised to purchase these audio recordings only if there is a strong inner desire to seek unconditional love. By investing in these recordings you understand that ideaGasms’ materials are imperfect, thus they are to be used ‘for entertainment purposes only’.
NOTES: Runtime is over 6 hours. Since these are phone consultation recordings, the sound is decent, but not studio quality. This program was created for men, however, it’s contents are equally applicable to both sexes.
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Sincerely,”
