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ideaGasms author Stephane
   Stephane

“Discussing Threesomes and Circles With Most Women”

(4 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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Reader Question & Comments:

I thought I’d ask your thoughts on a conversation I’ve had with a friend a few times.
I have a girl that I’d dated a while, but we broke it off due to how far we lived apart.
We now live closer, so have been talking about dating again.  Anyway we have all sorts of conversations. Last night we were talking, have had the same conversation before, and got onto the subject of threesomes. She’s had the experience of being with women before a few times. Well I had expressed my interest, as I would not mind at all having a little circle.

Anyway got to talking and she had mentioned some discussion she’d had with a group of friends. They were talking about girls being with girls and one of the guys made a comment saying he would like watching, but wouldn’t want to take part, unless it was only with his woman, or once the other girl left. I’d said that watching would be fun, but taking part would be nice as well.  She’d gone on about how you don’t hear many guys say they’d just watch and not wanna take part with the other girl.

Well then it kinda went on to if another girl can join what about another guy.
I’m not interested in other guys at all, I’m all Oak tree. I’m all for lots of lovey dovey cuddling and love making with a couple of beautiful women, but have no interest for another guy to be there.

She was saying it was because I was jealous or I don’t want a naked guy there, and things of that nature. I told her nope, I just have no interest in another guy being there. You know what I mean. Dragonbutter is icky.

Anyway she just keeps going on about well then could have a couple, a guy and girl, well I’m still not interested in that because there’s a guy. I try to get through to her that with a guy and two girls, it’s all about love, everyone is enjoying each other, everyone kissing each other things of that nature, the great cuddling, and such.  With a guy thrown in, there’s none of that. I’m sure not gonna cuddle with a guy *chuckles*

Towards the end of the conversation she was a bit grumpy because I was being “stubborn”.
Said I wasn’t open to ideas and opinions.  I said I’m always very open to those things, just not concerning other guys in the bedroom.

I know she’s interested in women as she’s been with a few, but what’s the deal with this insistence of having another guy join in if we were to find a girl to join in. (I wouldn’t mind finding a long term girl to join in *laughs*)

Anyway I thought it might make an interesting topic for the newsletter.

Wish I’d have saved the conversation so I could have sent it to you so you’d have it to read.

Johnny

 
Yes, a lot of women are arrogant douchebags when it comes to this stuff, however, “Father please forgive them, for they know not what they say”, as Jesus might have put it.

What they don’t understand is that we men typically have an AVERSION to being sexual with other men. The very thought of gay sex seems DISGUSTING to most of us, myself included.
 
While it’s easy to point the finger and go, “You’re just HOMOPHOBIC! You’re not OPEN! You’re just JEALOUS!” what this girl is lacking is a little humility and EMPATHY. Not to mention a simple and basic education about the nature of Yang energy.
 
Although it’s now considered “politically incorrect” to admit that gay sex makes us feel “icky”, it’s a plain-and-simple FACT about the majority of men.
 
If we look at sperm-war dynamics, male sperm actually kills other male sperm. Yang energy is COMPETITIVE, not “cuddly”. In some cases, men are wired differently and possess none of the “icky” feelings we were programmed to have, but those men seem rare.
 
The main issue I get from women about all of this threesome and Circle stuff is simply, “It’s not FAIR that you don’t ALLOW your girls to fuck other men!”
 
Notice the language, the words “fair” and “allow”. The term Consenting Adults seems to be way over our heads in this ignorant society.
 
I just got another douche-baggy comment from a woman today who said something like, “I don’t know why you FEEL THE NEED to create the term Interdependent Circle when all you are TRULY doing is living the Poly lifestyle!”
 
Again, note the arrogant languaging, the presumptions that she knows what I’m doing in my personal life and how the girls and I use the 24 hours that Creator gives us each day.
 
I don’t “feel the need” to make up new words, I have simply CHOSEN to do so. Now, the reason I use the word Interdependent is because that is our goal, we wish to achieve that state. This means we literally have to transcend the biggest and most difficult issues that couples face (e.g., jealousy, fear-of-abandonment, anger, projection, denial, guilt, shame).
 
The Poly lifestyle is about multiple partners, yes… but are the people in those communities sincerely attempting to transcend the toughest ego issues that exist? Not usually. From what I hear, it usually turns into big lust & drama fests, not unlike most relationships today.
 
And I use the word Circle because it’s CUTE… think of me and three girls holding hands and forming a Circle… Cute and fuzzy stuff, no?
 
(And, I want to avoid getting slotted in with ‘triangles’ and ‘harems’ and all of the other poly lifestyles that actually FEED on ego rather than seek to understand, honor, and move beyond it. I’m not saying ALL poly lifestyles are like this, I am saying that MANY are, but it depends on the open heart factor. Currently 0.4% of the population stands in Compassion, so let me even go as far as to say that MOST poly lifestyles are not comparable to Interdependent Circles.)

To build and maintain an actual real-life Interdependent Circle where one man actually pushes two queen-sized beds together and LIVES with 2 or 3 women IN HARMONY? The ability to pull this off means that you are very seriously learning relationship dynamics mastery of the highest order. I feel the term “Interdependent Circle” kind of implies this. It’s the spiritual pursuit of unconditional love, anything less and the Circle will be filled with drama, lies, bullshit.
 
Now, another issue is this thing about supposed “gender equality” and again, we’re of equal value, but we’re not equal beings.
 
I like to take my cues from nature, and when you look to what I call “caveman/cavewoman programming” (male/female sexual and ego dynamics), a simple look into this will reveal that usually, a woman in a Circle such as mine doesn’t actually WANT another guy in the Circle, because it simply wouldn’t feel natural.
 
Who’s lead would they follow? Mine or his?
 
As we can see, unless there is a basic understand of Sexual Polarity, these women do not qualify to have a discussion about Interdependent Circle relationship dynamics. Until basic understandings can be reached, all we’ll get from these women are arrogant, presumptive, emotionalized positionalities and opinionation. This is like trying to discuss quantum mechanics with a 10 year old kid.
 
Alright, listen up:
 
I’m working on a simple Interdependent Circle FAQ, it will include answers to many typical questions, along with a short video of myself and the girls answering questions and joking around and making fun of all the douchy women who don’t realize that I’m doing more for women and feminism than they ever will.
 
So, those of you that have questions and comments, please send them to stephane@ideagasms.net

One more thing, you’re going to start hearing from Ghita and Greta pretty soon, so if you have questions for them, shoot.
 
Blessings,
Stephane

 

 

ideaGasms author Stephane
   Stephane

“4 Deadly PICKUP Mistakes Men Are Making”

(13 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5)
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ideaGasms(R) - Welcome To The Front Lines Of Dating, S E X,
And Relationship Consciousness.

“4 Deadly PICKUP Mistakes Men Are Making”

Hey man,
 
It has come to my attention (over and over) that a lot of
guys are making some extremely crucial and destructive
mistakes whenever they interact with women. This small list
is from many recent phone consultations, especially one in
particular that made me go –> Uh oh.
 
1.  Failure to escalate. Listen - if you treat her like a
friend, that’s all you’ll get. You have to start TOUCHING
women when you speak to them.
 
You know, take her hand and hold it a little too long, hold
eye contact a little too long, run your fingers on her
forearm, offer hugs, take her wrist and lead her to sit
down, and so on. If you do not do this stuff, you’ll
typically get rejected. She knows you WANT to, so do it. If
she resists, just use all the ‘gentleman’s game’ stuff
and wash, rinse, repeat. Ask yourself, “Is it wrong or
offensive to be intimate with women?”

2.  Failure to stay in the Heart. So you get turned on by her
beauty (root chakra) and then you go in the mind and start
trying to GET attention & love.
 
You start going, “What should I say? How should I carry
myself?” and you are concerned with manipulation and mental
chess games, in an empty pursuit of approval and status. The
trick is to let that go and Just Love Women. Be in SILENCE
when you approach, do not THINK, just BE. The words and GAME
will come to you ONLY through your heart. You must be
willing to make yourself THAT vulnerable.

3.  In a casual conversation, many of you are basically
reciting the entire GTP, in an effort to show her how great
you are. And what a ‘catch’ you are.
 
Yet you’re not ESCALATING, soooo… she knows you’re full
of sh*t. So you talk about massage, squirting, chakras, and
GTP theories such as “one day at a time” and “opening the
heart” and meditation and “taking no crap” and everything
you’re getting from IG. But, IG stuff is meant to be LIVED,
not talked about… collecting all of these beliefs to show
women how ‘knowing’ you are, NO.

4.  Instead of rambling, talk MUCH less about YOU, and focus
on HER. Spend most of your time getting to know her on every
level.
 
What are her dreams, desires, fears, wants, hatreds,
opinions… Be extremely curious about HER. And let her find
out how “knowing” you are OVER TIME, slowly. Let her be
pleasantly surprised as the relationship unfolds. Let her
find out that you saved a drowning kitten and you can make
women squirt LATER.
 
 
I’ve been doing a lot of phone consultations lately, and
this seems to be the main issues I’m seeing time and
again.
 
I hope this is helpful, I realize how difficult it truly is
to get good with women, as I went through ALL of the above
phases myself (and then some)… so hang in there, and
thanks for reading.
 
Blessings,
Stephane
 

>NOTE: If you want to start getting a ROCK-SOLID education
in how to turn your hit-and-miss success with women into
consistent, repeatable, HEART-CENTERED success on EVERY
LEVEL of the game, go here and take a look at ALL my
programs for yourself right now:
http://www.ideagasms.net/ideagasms-products/

ideaGasms author Stephane
   Stephane

“1937-2008 - George Carlin Has Moved On, R.I.P.”

(16 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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A personal hero of mine… my favorite cynical comedian, George Carlin has just ‘passed away’, and he will indeed be missed.

George Carlin, May 12, 1937 -- June 22, 2008

George Carlin, 1937 - 2008

I’ll never forget the first comedy routine I ever heard from him, it blew me away.. not just because it was hilarious, but also because he was bashing religion in a way that had me wondering how people might react to this guy… I admired his courage.

You also get the impression that perhaps George isn’t really a comedian, but rather, just a guy sharing his true beliefs… and simply structuring his language so that his world model is funny and provocative.

So anyway, here’s the first Carlin ‘routine’ I ever heard -

George Carlin - Bullshit And Religion

 

See what I mean? I get the impression that George is not joking when he says this stuff.

Like Carlin, I was also raised as a Catholic boy, with the Baptisms and the Communions and being forced to go to Church every Sunday, and religion didn’t jive with me.

It seemed strange to me that there was this ‘Father’ up there, and His ‘Son’. It seemed ridiculous to me that God would send people to either Heaven or Hell, and how Jesus dies for MY sins… something was off, and I considered my family to be somewhat insane for actually believing this sh*t.

So, I read a few different versions of the Bible - I wanted to judge all of this for myself, and frankly, I found the 1st testament to be a bunch of crap. What got to me was people seemed to believe that all those stories (e.g., Adam & Eve, Noah’s Ark) were real. (Today I understand them to be allegories.)

I also read the ‘book of revelation’ (notice I don’t use capitols, as I don’t feel that book deserves them) and found it to be nothing more than a bunch of paranoid delusions written by a narcissistic (and possibly schizophrenic) fool.

Then I read the NEW Testament, and it was fantastic, and FILLED with true wisdom from Jesus & co. And, I have since re-read the Old Testament (parts of it anyway) and now that I understand those stories are meant to be symbolic, allegorical, the value in those texts are decidedly obvious now.

One thing I couldn’t swallow about Christianity was this whole obsession with Sin. And although the Seven Deadly Sins indeed make a lot of sense, I rejected them as a youth because I was rejecting the idea that God is anthropomorphic (human-like characteristics). In those days, I ‘threw the baby out with the bathwater’, but now that I understand ‘God’ to literally mean CONSCIOUSNESS ITSELF, so now I have begun to study ALL religions with much greater enthusiasm. I’ll be reading the Koran next.

Another part of religion I didn’t like was this idea that God ’spoke to’ Moses, who then wrote the Ten Commandments. Don’t get me wrong, I *liked* the Commandments, as they obviously make a lot of good, logical (as well as spiritual and pragmatic) sense, but the idea that God is this ‘man in the sky’ who only ’speaks’ to a select few people turned me off, for obvious reasons. But since I now understand that God is Consciousness itself, it makes perfect sense to me that God can ’speak’ to someone, particularly is that person has a high level of consciousness. This thing about ’speaking’ is not literal, it’s more like a trasnmission of energy, of consciousness.

Speaking of the Ten Commandments, George Carlin had a HILARIOUS routine in which he compresses them into only two commandments. As usual, it’s a pretty cynical routine, you’ll see him stating that the Ten Commandments were part of some conspiracy to control people (paranoia) but the routine is hilarious nonetheless, check this out -

George Carlin - The Ten Commandments


 

Now, let’s take a look as some of his earlier stuff. To me, he seemed to have a lot more light in his eyes back then, but over the years that light seemed to have progressively gotten dimmer… Let’s take a look at an older recording, and then we’ll contrast it with one of his later recordings, I think you’ll see that he became a little darker as time went on. He also lost his wife (in 1997, I think) and so I wouldn’t be suprised if her death perhaps ‘changed’ him.

So here’s something light and funny from the 70’s…

 

George Carlin - Al Sleet, Weatherman

 

My favorite line is, “Tonight’s forecast… DARK!” ;)

Here’s another older routine from the 70’s, I believe this is the ONE routine that made him famous overnight, and apparently there were Supreme Court rulings to keep this routine off the air -

 

George Carlin - Seven Words You Can’t Say On Television

He seemed… happier… in those days, but he progressively seemed to get darker and more cynical as time went on. Apparently he struggled with cocaine addictions, which will of course, pump the user full of guilt and shame. He then reportedly gave up cocaine to become a full-time alcoholic. But when guilt & shame are not dealt with, this usually turns into anger… in Carlin’s case, he seems angry at ‘God’ (cynical) and probably never realized that God just means Consciousness. (See ‘Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle’, as well as quantum mechanics [Bohm, and Stapp])

Now let’s take a look at a later routine, this is one of my personal favorites…

George Carlin - A Place For My Stuff

 

I guess I’ll end this post with Ghita and Greta’s favorite George Carlin routine ;)

George Carlin - Dogs & Cats

 

Ahhhh, George, you will be missed…

I remember when I first got into his stuff, I was working hard in those days (on my game) and so I listened to his CD’s and videos every single day for like… well, it was over a year. Even when I was completely sick of hearing those same routines, day after day, I still listened to them because I assumed that Carlin’s humor “structures” would rub off on me, and they eventually did.

Thanks George… I’m a better man because of you - you changed my life, man. hug

Blessings,

Stephane



ideaGasms author Stephane
   Stephane

“Beyond Yin/Yang Polarity”

(9 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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I was going through my dusty old newsletter archive when I
found this newsletter from summer 2007.

The ‘reader question’ was sent to me from a Polish
woman…

… From none other than my present-day girlfriend, Greta.

Cool, I had forgotten all about this. It turns out she was a
‘die hard fan’ of ideaGasms, had all our products, etc.
and she sent me this question, which I answered, without
thinking she would actually become my girlfriend two months
later.

In fact, in those days I used to slam ‘Internet dating’
because I felt that it was for geeks and pedophiles. I guess
I tend to be old-fashioned.

Anyway, two months after this newsletter came out, my
girlfriend Ghita and I flew to London for some ideaGasms
Seminars, and Greta had flown in to come STALK… er, ah, I
mean attend the seminars ;)

So today, she lives with Ghita and I… I never thought I
would meet girls online, but it happened… You can read
more about Greta right here -

http://www.ideagasms.net/about-greta/

Sooo… here’s that old newsletter…

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Stephane,

I am still not sure if being sub-dom (polarity) is needed in
my relationship.

What for in my relationship??

What will I get from being sub every time every day?

I feel it is against the frame: I act in alignment with my
higher self.

How my boyfriend will know better than me what serves my
highest good?

And what if I don’t feel that being sub serves it every
time?

Does that mean I am not feminine?

I would appreciate your thoughts on it as this is so
difficult for me to understand.

Thanks,
Greta

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Polarity (dom/sub dynamics) can only be of value when you
trust your partner’s lead.

Does your male counterpart know you better than you know
yourself?

If that is the case, I suggest that you follow his lead - he
will lead you into higher dimensions.

Mistakes will be made, of course, but as long as he leads
from the Heart you guys are going to have an awesome time
together.

If the trust is NOT there however, then submitting and
following, etc. will be very harmful to you both.

He will lead you into chaos.

My girlfriend follows my lead because she values my life
experience. It is clear to her that I can see her more
clearly than she is able to see herself, most of the time.

Slowly, slowly, she has learned to trust me, and now we make
jokes like, “Steph knows best” and cute couple stuff like
that.

But she follows my lead because she trusts me. I have taught
her about her sexuality, her emotions, spirituality,
ego-death, Chakras, meditation, I have taught her “pickup”
and social dynamics, I have helped her to heal some of her
past, I have taught her many things and she is most eager to
learn more and more.

So, it makes sense for her to follow my lead, because my
lead is worthwhile… I don’t just ‘dominate’ women, I
don’t just bark orders at them; I LISTEN as well as lead.

And, there are situations where we reverse roles, where SHE
LEADS ME.

It’s not just me in control of everything all the time.

There are areas in life in which she is the dominant one,
the teacher, the “boyfriend trainer” if you will.

“Girlfriend training” (Polarity) is NOT for everyone.

It is for guys like me who spent most of their life learning
about the things in life which matter most, and as such, we
have a lot more to offer women than the average ‘wussy’
guy.

A true ‘trainer’ is a man who is Yin/Yang balanced within
himself. Finally, once the balance is there, the man can
return to being Masculine and take the lead in a mature,
balanced, and authentic fashion.

> This is why I joke that The GTP is really just a boyfriend
training program in disguise, because it installs the right
kinds of attitudes and frames needed if a man wants
polarized relationships in which his feminine girlfriend is
HAPPY to follow his lead.

FROM THERE… Once the POLARITY is established,
relationships are able to go up a notch, and this isn’t
something I talk about in newsletters very much.

I am NOT really in the lead anymore…

I know that it can seem that way from the outside, but
EXISTENCE is the one leading our relationship.

It isn’t about me getting what I want and Ghita getting
what she wants anymore, because we have surrendered our
relationship to Existence.

Instead of asking, “What’s in it for us?” we have learned
to ask, “What would be best for EXISTENCE?”

This is the level where the relationship grows beyond two
people, and now serves existence, humanity, the world.

Today, our relationship comes with a greater sense of
responsibility than ever before. We realize that our every
action not only affects us, but it affects the thousands of
people who come to learn from us, and that’s just for
starters. The relationship that we have has become greater
than ourselves, and as such, it has become a great honor and
privilege.

Thanks for your question.

Blessings,
Stephane

PS – AGAIN –> >NOTE: If you want to start getting a
ROCK-SOLID education in how to turn your hit-and-miss
success with women into consistent, repeatable,
HEART-CENTERED success on EVERY LEVEL of the game, go here
and take a look at ALL my programs for yourself right now:
http://www.ideagasms.net/ideagasms-products/