My Condolences To The Way Your Love Life Used To Be.

Archive for April, 2008

ideaGasms author Stephane
   Stephane

Avoidant/Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Published by Stephane on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 2 Comments
(10 votes, average: 4.6 out of 5)
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***QUESTION***

“I’ve diagnosed myself with avoidant personality disorder (or I could just be a puss.y) as well as narcissistic personality disorder. Either way, this is something I have struggled with for years and as soon as I can afford it I am going to go see a therapist. Until then I am going to begin chakra meditations again and wanted to know what you felt was the main chakra I need to focus on with regards mostly to APD. Thanks for your input!”

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Inadequacy/avoidance and intense social failure fears stem from the desire to control the mind’s of others and force
them to see you as being cooler/smarter than you truly are. Social anxiety is therefore literally a narcissist’s game. (This is ego, not “you”)

I would say this is definitely a sacral chakra issue.

Perhaps a therapist can be of some help, but nothing beats actually going out and talking to people.

Feeling the fear, and doing it anyway.

Every boy who wishes to be a man MUST go through this. And all ego’s are the same, so everybody basically has to go through the same stuff.

Suggestion, instead of wanting others to perceive you as something you’re not, go out and focus on just being as honest as humanly possible.

So for example, if you’re talking with someone and you start feeling nervous, or worried, try telling them the literal truth. Make sure they know you’re not “blaming” them and they are not “causing” it or anything like that. Just go, “Man, am I ever shy” and you can even ask them if they suffer from shyness and have a convo about that.

The decision to THINK OUT LOUD. This is what us socially-savvy people actually DO!

It’s ironic because at first, you start off being really shy and worried that others will reject you. And sometimes they do.

Then, you find that, since you’re so nervous, people tend to be really nice to you. (But VERY condescending)

Then, as you start becoming cooler, people can be really vicious, especially girls, because you have some “game” but you’re still shaky.

Then, you come into your own, develop a decent personality, become humorous, charming, etc. and girls start sleeping with you.

Then the heart opens, and your conversations end up reframing people’s beliefs and healing them, just by virtue of being in your presence, and also because of the presuppositions in your language. Your “joy de vivre” can also become pretty infectious.

When heart becomes WIDE OPEN, some people really start fucking DESPISING you (jealousy, and also they fear that you can see right through them, and you can, but they don’t understand non-judgment, so you just end up triggering all the stuff they are attempting to hide due to guilt and shame).

So you start off being afraid of rejection, and you end up doing everything in your power to try to make people feel at
ease around you, because many people can not handle you.

It’s like, the cleaning lady came over today, and I motioned for her to hug me, and she gives me this weak-a*s shyness hug, and I’m like, “Are you really this afraid of love??” and she giggles, blushes, and hugs me properly.

So you begin to realize that the fears that were in you are literally in 95% of the population as well.

Life - fun stuff.

Blessings,
Stephane

NOTE: The Seven Chakras Program will teach you precisely how to get over avoidance and inadequacy fears, fear of rejection, fear of loss, neediness, low self-esteem, insecurities … pretty much every Inner-Game issue you can think of. You don’t even need to “believe in chakras”, they are simply a VERY powerful model that delivers miraculous real world RESULTS:

http://www.ideagasms.net/chakra-centers-heal-cd/

“Man I am so very very thankful for you for taking the time and completing the chakra program. Thus far it is *FLAWLESS*. Chakras are the alpha and omega. Holy sh*t. I am taking HUGE strides lately with it, geeking out like crazy, the lessons just keep coming, and the good thing is they come in order of the chakras - somehow I always know what to do.”
– B., United States

“Stephane, the responses so far (from both women and men around me) has been phenomenal, now that I have the first four chakras balanced. And I feel more incredible than I can ever remember! Thanks again.”
– M.M.

ideaGasms author Stephane
   Stephane

Is Your Girlfriend Trying To Unload You?

Published by Stephane on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 Leave a comment.
(6 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5)
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I recently did this phone consultation, and the guy started telling me about some pretty harsh things his girlfriend had said and done to him.

I don’t remember all the details, but one thing in particular stuck out -

He tried to kiss her, and she literally said, “I don’t like kissing you anymore, it’s boring”.

Can you imagine?? :o

So anyway, it was becoming increasingly clear to me that she was obviously wanting to unload him (or “dump” him), but for some reason just wasn’t going to do it.

(A lot of girls will stay with a guy, even though they are unhappy, because they know that if they unload him, he will be very upset, hur.t, or possibly even suicidal. Or sometimes they stay with the guy because they feel they just “need” someone, ANYONE in their lives.)

Now, I *never* tell people if I think they “should” break up or not, it’s not my place to make this decision for them.

(I also won’t tell people to break up because, even if I feel that they probably should split, I certainly don’t need some guy or girl emailing me a month later and blaming me for a breakup.)

So yeah, in this case, I said, “I can’t tell you what to do, I can only tell you what I might do in your situation. Then again, I’m not you, and I wouldn’t have created this kind of reality to begin with. I’ve made these kinds of mistakes, yes, but I don’t do this stuff anymore.”

He understood.

Then I talked about how, sometimes when girls no longer want to be with us, our ego gets hur.t, and we sort of go into DENIAL about it.

Sometimes we go, “Who the f*ck is she to not want ME?!” and end up trying to mind-control (manipulate) her into loving us once again. But since this isn’t heart-centered, it almost never works.

(Even if we seem to succeed, two weeks later the relationship goes straight to hell once again.)

I then wrote him an email, I said, “I’m going to send you this email, and I’d like you to study it. It’s the email I would send her, if I were in your situation with this girl”.

>Here is that specific email:

I’ve been contemplating this relationship of ours, and recently had this moment of clarity.. I’m quite embarrassed right now, feeling pretty humbled.

First of all, I want to apologize, I have been blind, and even in denial that you’re (more than likely) trying to unload me, but probably haven’t actually said the words “please get lost!” because you don’t want to hurt me, and feel guilty for hurting me.

I’ve ignored this for too long, and I’m realizing how trapped you must feel.. My sticking around for this long was not only manipulative, but deep down my male-ego wouldn’t accept rejection. So I’ve been clinging on, and hoping for a miracle, when I should have just moved on with my life.

It’s pretty childish of me… So, I want to humbly ask for your forgiveness. I’m going to let you go now.

Sincerely,
“P”

So I suggested that he think about using this as a sort of “breakup-template”, you know, and perhaps put this into his own words and send it to her, and “let the chips fall where they may”.

I think an email like that will really demonstrate that he understands how she truly feels, and it might actually buy him a little more time with her.

The PROBLEM with this is, of course, that he doesn’t understand her, and he needed me to write that kind of email
for him, on his behalf. So even if he gets her back… I’m not sure he will be able to save this relationship.

And also interesting to note is that she CHOSE to be with a man who is needy, insecure, and basically just doesn’t understand how women tick.

She CHOSE a “mamma’s boy”, so even if he “man’s up” and learns all of this stuff that we teach, she may in fact not be ready to be with a guy who has empathy with women and comes from the Heart.

Thanks for reading, God Bless.

Blissings,
Stephane

NOTE: If you want to truly understand women and you are ready to have a girlfriend that literally asks “How may I serve you?”, get the Girlfriend Training Program. In this program you will learn exactly what it takes to truly SATISFY a woman on all levels - emotionally, socially, physically, and spiritually:

http://www.ideagasms.net/girlfriend-training-program/


ideaGasms author Stephane
   Stephane

“First Dates, And Avoiding The Friend-Zone”

Published by Stephane on Sunday, April 27, 2008 Leave a comment.
(14 votes, average: 4.71 out of 5)
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***QUESTION***

Hey Steph,

[SNIP] Anyway… She seemed a tad nervous during the date and I chickened out at the end and just gave her a hug. I keep thinking I’m scarily close to the friend-zone, but I’m not going to chicken out on monday. We’ll go watch a movie at the cinema.

Any tips for avoiding the dreaded friend-zone?

Thanks,
D.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Avoiding the friend-zone is pretty easy, once your inner game is decent.

The main issue I see with guys getting stuck in friend-zone is one of NOT getting physically CLOSE enough to the girl they are on a date with.

They seem to stand too far away, at a ’safe distance’, almost like they’re afraid to offend the girl. But she’s on a date with you because she actually wants intimacy, you see.

When I hook up with a girl for a first date, I tend to soften my eyes a little and talk face-to-face with her, up close and personal… I tend to get in really close to the girl.

Check out the TV series, Entourage. The main character, Vince, demonstrates this very well. When he talks to girls, he has no problem getting into a girl’s personal space.

This will keep you out of the dreaded ‘friend-zone’.

Whenever I meet up with students in person, they often confess to me that they are afraid to escalate things to a physical level.

I’m actually afraid to NOT escalate, go figure.

Thanks for your question!

Blessings,
Stephane

PS - The following download is PACKED with goodies concerning pickup, inner game, and everything you single guys need to learn -
http://www.ideagasms.net/intro-to-ig-consciousness/

“Intro to iG Consciousness is more than an intro. It’s an avalanche of life-changing wisdom and love that will open your heart almost as fast as it opens your eyes. Prepare to begin what became the most profound journey of my life.”
– M.E., Santa Cruz, CA

“I call myself a ’skeptic’ because in reality, I secretly have animosity toward God, religion, and spirituality.”
–The Human Ego

ideaGasms author Sean
   Sean

“What a F@#%ing Sellout, Stephane”

Published by Sean on Saturday, April 26, 2008 Leave a comment.
(13 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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Check out this response I got from the recent email I sent out, “He is finally going to do it”. In this email I explained to subscribers that the prices on all iG products are going up, and also that we really only want people who are serious about learning this material to buy it.

***SUBSCRIBER COMMENT***

yea yea…
you only want people who will pay you more money.. you’ve become f@#%ing greedy like the rest.Why not be f@#ing honest and tell the truth! it has nothing to do if people ‘use’ what they buy or not. It’s THEIR f@#%ing choice to buy something and use it or not.

Thanks for now making it less accessible to more people and by doing that adding to the problem of unconsciousness in relating, relationships and se.x.
What a F@#%ing Sellout, Stephane!!!!!!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Look, I get it. No one likes to feel lied to or tricked into making a purch.ase. Anyone that has been on the internet with an email inbox for more than a month is probably sick and tired of being reeled in by slick marketing tricks. I hat.e this crap as much as you do, and I truly empathize with your frustration.

The thing is, what I wrote was not a marketing trick.

ideaGasms is a conscious business. Part of running a conscious business is having discretion in who you sell to based on how you perceive they may use what you are selling. Money exchange is a karmic interchange, like it or not. Imagine if gu.n store owners operated the way you are suggesting. They might just sell guns to clearly deranged angry lunatics. Who cares? It’s THEIR choice how they use their guns, right?

That is not how we operate. ideaGasms products have never killed anyone, true, but they can certainly be used in ways that hur.t people. Stephane teaches incredibly powerful methods and frames for relating with women. It’s like being given a complete blueprint to have women falling in love with you HARD left and right. The problem is, it does take a more serious commitment for the COMPASSION part to really “click”. So when guys “skim” the materials looking for pickup tricks, they miss the heart centered context. Women (and men) can get hur.t and that is NOT what iG is about.

Can you understand the situation we are in now? Running a business from the heart is a daily challenge. It’s pretty hard to screen who buys our products. One of the things we are planning is to introduce pre-purchas.e questionnaires. In the meantime the best we can do is encourage people to really study the products deeply.

This is where raising our prices comes in. Raising the prices has the effect of raising your awareness of your purchas.e. Raising the prices actually makes you more likely to really use the material. The perhaps unfortunate fact is, modern soc.iety equates fre.e with worthless and cheap with low value. We all do it, I’m not just pointing fingers. :)

Now I understand you may be on a fixed income. We are planning to start a program eventually that gives qualified yet lower income students discounted and even fre.e products. This in exchange for a commitment to really study and use the programs, then give us feedback so we can improve the materials. Stay tuned for that.

And cut me a LITTLE slack if my writing comes off corny or like a cheesy sales pitch. Believe me, I’m just a regular guy. My challenge is that I suspect some of you may be in really frustrating ruts in your relationships with women. A part of you deeply wants REAL, working solutions to your dating and relationship problems. But where are the real solutions in a market full of gimmicks? So you end up SETTLING, month after month, year after year with the same annoying issues coming up again and again without doing anything about it.

The bad news is, habitual issues almost never resolve themselves on their own. This is why I can’t help wanting to SHAKE you up a little and tell you that you truly deserve better! And to let you know that you are so unbelievably fortunate to have found ideaGasms. Stephane has laid out a comprehensive curriculum of solutions that consistently WORK for thousands of students. Literally everyone that simply puts a little time in sees results. Go read the testimonials on any iG product page.

In fact, I’ll leave you with a recent one, this is from the customer-only support forum:

“Everytime i come on here, i feel like im coming home to family. LIke everyone said, no words can really describe the value of the information i learn from IG, liiteraly saved my life…or Gave me back the one my ego tricked me into thinking i lost! lol”
– P.D.

Namaste, friends.

Blessings,
Sean



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