Hey everyone,

For years now, I have been helping people to understand relationship dynamics, spirituality and human behavior… but today I need YOUR help.

You see, I keep getting emails from bisexual women who talk about their boyfriends actually NOT WANTING them to be intimate with other women.

I’m afraid I just can’t relate and am drawing a blank!

As I write this, AmyJo is out on her second date with a girl we’ll call “Michelle” and I have to tell you… I’m happy for her. I couldn’t be jealous if I tried… I just don’t understand how a man could actually feel threatened by other… WOMEN !?!

Hmmm… let’s see…

Are these men afraid that another woman’s clitoris might actually be larger than his penis?Or perhaps they are afraid that another woman will understand her more, or satisfy her more on an emotional level?

Hmmmm…

One thing is for sure, any man who is afraid of his girlfriend being intimate with other women is DAMN INSECURE.

Holy shit

Check out this letter from a bisexual woman…

Stephane,

I really like your site!

I need your advice! You seem to be well-versed in alternative relationships… I have a question:

For some background: About a year and a half ago, this man and I fell in love on the night we met. Just to brag a little bit, he is the most amazing person, inside and out, that I have ever met. He has the most beautiful soul, the kindest heart, the most brilliant mind and creative talent, and he is the sexiest Herculean piece of ass to have ever walked this earth. I didn’t think people this perfect could exist until I met him.

For some more insight, we have also lived together since the night we met, and we have never ever had an argument or even raised our voices at each other…

From the get-go, he knew I was into girls as well as boys, although I have only ever had serious relationships with boys. However, most of my crushes, (all trivial and fleeting) are on girls, especially when I am in a relationship. Once in a relationship, the mere suggestion of thinking about another boy causes a strong repulsion in me… What confuses my Love is that I am still very open to girls. I get silly little schoolgirl-type crushes on them all the time, however depthless. This worries him…

But in my heart, I truly feel that for the long-term, I could never be fulfilled with just a girl. I feel like I would long for that power-exchange, that feeling of belonging to my Love, that POLARIZED effect you talk about, (the feeling I get as a submissive when I kneel down to kiss his feet)… However, my Love does not seem to understand that.

My Love confessed, “It hurts that there is a special set of feelings, attractions and comfort levels reserved for someone of the same sex, that I will never have access to or be the recipient of. That’s what hurts me. I have everything available for her, there is nothing that I could feel for someone else that I don’t feel for her or intend to feel for her when the time is right. She has the capacity to be ALL for me and fulfill all… Something that I simply can not do for her in return, no matter how many times she kids herself and tells me.

I love this girl and the only thing getting in the way of me seeing my entire amazing future with her is this one grave sadness that I am reminded of whenever I look at another beautiful girl… I refuse to try to make her into someone she is not, although I can’t help but feel that the pressure of these worries are inadvertently doing just that, however temporary the change may be. The truth lays dormant.”

So my question to you is, what can we do? We both want him to feel as secure in my feelings toward him as I am, (though he doesn’t trust my security either, in case you didn’t pick up on that). We want desperately to get over this hurdle, and have peace from these worries, as I’m sure you can see how painful they are for both of us. Until we resolved, we have made our relationship exclusive, where we would normally invite other girls.

We are out of ideas, and an “ideaGasm” would be endlessly appreciated.

.Peace.Love.Unity.Respect.
-Bisexual Girl

Alright guys, this is an AMAZING question, and I have been meaning to get around to posting something about this.

His basic insecurity comes from the ego’s false belief that we are all separate, when the truth is that are are all connected, and in the end, we are all God Also.

I didn’t fall in love with Ghita, or Greta, or AmyJo… those “names” are just illusions, false labels given by parents & society. It is never a PERSON that we Love, it is the GOD CONSCIOUSNESS that we Love.

When I tell a woman that I love her, it is not a PERSONAL compliment, I am just telling her that I love her LIGHT, I love the YIN ESSENCE that is in her eyes… when I love a woman, I am really just loving GOD, or the “goddess within” her. I am loving the part of her that never dies, the aspect of her which is Eternal and Forever.

The truth is, nobody on this Earth is “special”.

If we are really honest with ourselves, we can see that clearly, we are able to Love ANYONE who is able to love us back.

I love ALL WOMEN who love… Me!

I could fall in love with any woman who can fall in love with me.

And my girlfriends do not love “Stephane”, they love the CONSCIOUSNESS that I am tapped into… They love the God in me, the light.

When this guy said “She has the capacity to be ALL for me and fulfill all… Something that I simply can not do for her in return” he is making the crucial ego mistake of taking a woman’s love PERSONALLY. Love isn’t a personal thing, love is EVERYTHING… it is the energy of God, of Existence, and it COMES FROM WITHIN.

In reality, this bisexual girl he is with loves HIS CONSCIOUSNESS, his energy… she doesn’t love “him” because there is no “him”… She would have loved ANY MAN who came along who would have had his level of consciousnes. Again, Love is NOT personal.

When we say, “I love you” we are really just saying, “I love the ME that I see in YOU” (and this “me” that is in “you” is simply God).

Now, let’s address this other issue (the one I’m having trouble being able to relate to). He said, “It hurts that there is a special set of feelings, attractions and comfort levels reserved for someone of the same sex, that I will never have access to or be the recipient of.”

That is another set of illusions from the ego, and mostly just some very basic insecurities as a lover, the belief that perhaps he is “not enough”.

First of all, as soon as someone says “it HURTS” we know they are coming from Ego, and all pain comes from ignorance.

The missing piece for this guy is that he still thinks that he is SEPARATE from his woman, and separate from the women that she would like to enjoy being intimate with.

When I watch the girls giving each other orgasms… when I see them cuddling, and giggling, and sharing a beautiful type of “girly” communication with each other…

I just enjoy the beauty of it, I take it all in as though I were appreciating a sunset or a Rembrant painting… I just breathe it all in and MERGE with the girls. I can go inside of Ghita’s body and feel everything she is feeling. I can feel those feelings as if they were my own.

And, I can be happy for her, and for them… we are NOT separate.

So this man’s issue is one of possessiveness, jealousy, narcissism, greed, and everything else that our ego’s are known for.

The only solution is he will have to get started on his spiritual homework, he will have to learn how to un-identify from his mind and reconnect with God, just like the rest of us. He has a LONG way to go, so the sooner he gets started, the better your chances of having a HEALTHY relationship… I have a feeling you are holding the light for this dear one.

Get him the GTP!

I’m serious… once he feels COMPETENT as a lover, all of this crap goes away and you can start bringing him girls too.

Blessings to you both,
Stephane

***QUESTION FROM A YOUNG, BISEXUAL WOMAN ON OUR FORUMS***

Sooooo,
I have been thinking…

How do I learn to be a pick up artist….

The thing is, I tend to get really shy when speaking to a girl that I REALLY like, and who turns me on…
And just sit there blushing and giggling…

Advice is really appreciated!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

As a woman, picking up girls is a *joke*, as long as you hold the frame, “I am truly loved”. Just ASSUME that every chick loves you, wants you, and you will create that reality. Self-confidence on this level is VERY seductive, as I’m sure you know (because you’re a girl )

(If you’re in Montreal, you might consider hooking up with Ghita & AmyJo, they are turning into pickup masters.)

As a WOMAN, you have permission to do ANYTHING in our society and it will usually be accepted.

For example, when most GUYS approach a girl using a COMPLIMENT, they are… fucked

But YOU?!?!

You can walk up to any hottie and joke, “You’re fuckin’ hot, let’s be lesbians!” and grab her and she will instantly like you and start laughing with you.

Note that HOT GIRLS are actually *easier* than so-so girls, because hotties are used to women HATING them (jealousy), so when you walk up to a hottie and are actually warm, flirty and NICE to her, it is a welcome relief in most cases.

In the case of so-so and “ugly” girls, they won’t have the self-esteem to handle the lovin’ you can provide. They will act weird and self-implode.

Inner Game wise, don’t approach girls because you want them to like or approve of you, don’t approach because you want to “make her attracted” to you. Don’t be another wussy GUY.

ASSUME THE SALE.

JUST approach to see if she’s cool or not. If you detect that she’s not cool (you’ll feel your self-worth dropping when girls are dark, and your self-worth rising when girls are light). You’ll know that a girl is cool or not depending on how she makes you feel about yourself. As you know, a lot of girls are complete bitches, so trust your intuition and immediately move on to the next.. and the next.

So, you approach a girl and compliment anything you like about her, such as her outfit, her aura, her energy - whatever you like about her is what you should TELL HER. That is the best opener to use.

If she looks at you as if you are an ugly bug, or an annoyance… just go, “Nice meeting you, take care!” and move along immediately. In your mind, stop and take a second to surround her in Pink Light (the energy of unconditional love, compassion) and this will help keep your state positive, open, Loving.

HOW do you attract women?

SIMPLY, LOVE THEM.

ESCALATION:

If she’s cool, friendly, open, etc. your job is DONE.

Don’t think like a GUY. Don’t try to “seduce” her, don’t try to make her too emotional, just be chill, friendly, laid back, and start BEFRIENDING HER, nothing more. Don’t become another cheesy, “bisexual” or a creepy “lesbian”, those chicks rarely pick up.

I personally studied the “game” of lesbians for a while and let me tell you, in most cases it is terrible and they get nothing all night.. every night they go home empty and alone because they think like GUYS. They project neediness, and they try to force an outcome.

Women want things to “just happen”, so take that approach instead. So just befriend girls, take their number, give yours out as well, no big deal, you will be JUST FRIENDS…Treat women like NORMAL PEOPLE, don’t use ANY seduction bullshit, just make some new friends here and there, being social, friendly, and normal. No “flirting” or anything like that.

Get in the habit of calling ALL of your numbers, and pretty soon you’ll have a bunch of cool new female friends to hang out with, go shopping with, go for coffee, bars, drinks, parties, and so on.

Once you get girls alone with you, maybe have a bit of wine… you know… “liquid seduction”… you can do simple things like saying, “Have you ever kissed a girl before? Would you like to kiss me?” and in most cases they will say YES.

When they say no, just make fun of them a little for being uptight, taking life too seriously, and next thing you know, they are going down on you in the shower and screaming, “Thanks for making me a better woman!!”

As a woman, picking up other women is a JOKE… Last summer when we recorded the GTP, we made friends with over 12 new girls who exclaimed, “I’m not bisexual!” and by the end of the summer, Ghita fucked every single one of them.

If you can, come and watch AmyJo and Ghita (and soon Greta) teach you the ropes.. Once you see it in action, you’ll be amazed at how simple this is, really… don’t worry about the money, just buy us some drinks or something.

Blessings,
Stephane